Uncertainty and longing for a bout of …….

….I dont know what to call it, may be a close confident or a little piece of happiness. The search has been relentless. From friends, family to fantsies..respite nowhere. My confidence is totally shaken, my performance has hit all time low, I am broke and about to witness an a public disgace in a day. I want to cry, but the sadness as if is frozen in my heart, tears or chocked windpipe is past I guess. I have been scanning through movies, stories and what not to make it through. Nothing seems warm enough, not even the wish to die. With the self-imposed house-arrest, I have been left with my consciene which is restless resting in my head. I want to flee….from these, all these feelings

Reality is unimaginably devastated, from four years back.

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