“You little scumbags, how you fool us to believe you were so nice.”

The sparrows, I am trying to talk. They are basically two kinds. One is rather fatty, have more black strips around the neck and the other is thin, fairer. Although the fairer, thinner looks more feminine from as per urban culture, I have always rationalised the fattier/stronger to be the female. Biology fits in there.

Anyway, it does not matter, cause both sexes of this species have a grudge against me.

I live on the second floor east wing of the hostel, in a room with a small balcony facing the garden in the back and a narrow corridor running in the front to staircase, neighbors, toilets, everything. Being a loner, and having my own room turned into a refugee camp is something I am trying to explain without taking inspiration from split-personality. Everyone, who knows my face, needs a place, finds peace, and rejoices, here. During my stay, this room could boast (or was bored) of hosting people from almost all parts of India, of all age groups and of all walks of life.

Relevance of such a digression is that, you have put your clothes briefly out in the air once dried in the machine simply because they is no room inside. And there the little creatures play havoc.

When I put my clothes to dry out there, they come down from nowhere and sit on them. As if they were possessed or the room is cursed. Sometime shit too. They watch out till I am gone, and then the quietly sneak in, perform their ablutions. And they love it.

“What kind of animosity is this yaar. you know how difficult for me to wash clothes ? Sometimes, I soak the clothes in detergent for so long that the fabrics are damaged. Why u ask ! I am a busy guy, okay well little lazy about washing but I am busy haa, ask anyone around.”

So I am trying to negotiate with them.

“No, I am just sharing, its not complaining”

“What, whats offensive ?

“Scumbag ? Oh come on, don’t be diplomatic, you shit on my clothes everyday”

“Okay ok. I am not in any bargaining position, am I ? we will talk like gentlemen..”

“.. yes u can talk ladylike. I didn’t know u had matriarchal society.”

“So all I want is you don’t sit or shit on my clothes, I cant wash twice the same damn thing”

“Come on. dont just look away. come on, tell me .. What you want in return”

“No way. See, the pigeons have already made my room their nest, whenever they feel like breeding. Last time one made my life miserable. They are not quite while love making you know, or either while hatching.”

“I dont care if they are always so grumpy, but it affects my work. I cant concentrate”

“No no. I know u are quite, but please think of it. My room has so many guests already, and u know the size of the humans. They simply fill in. You know what would be a good idea ? why don’t u nest in the garden. There are nice, green and fruit-bearing trees.”

“Ya, I know u like to live near us, but life is not all what u want buddy”

“Oh come on. Nobody lives the way he wants. Dont you know, “life is a delicate negotiation”

“Free bird !, my foot.”

“Oh no, please dont go away. “

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