Resolution Wanted!

By the end of 2009, I’ll be a less than a year to thirty. These thirty odd happy-new-years mourn a nondescript past and a present of many “-lessness”. So what can I do to change that in 22 months?

“One crore”, says my friend and confidant, “that should be the target I am going to leave academia for, what about you?” Peers have been persuading to delve deeper into research. An academic suggested in all sincerity, ‘change track’. “Go into something fundamental. Human Genetics? Sounds good”. Some strangers and not-so-strangers, some friends insist I should explore creative writing. A couple of friends pestered me last week to take UPSC Civil Services exam. So did an elder in family last month. Just yesterday, a friend argued that if we were thinking for a political alternative for our place, I must take lead. There are activist friends rounded off for alleged connection to the Maoists. Their mails from the field say, “Where are you?” Then of course, there is my family back home about to scream, “Show us something tangible”, you know what they mean. There is a running-crazy friend who can’t stop talking about 100 miles Jungle Marathon of Brazil, Climbing Everest.

Stuffs shine more than they worth, in right moment. People too. What objective, then, should I head for, with what framing? I don’t know. I am not a dead-fish, but the current is too fast to cut. All I can do is swim with it, trudge ahead, avoid danger. I should. I want to escape this quandary; I want to bury this lackadaisical way. What can trade for that Panglossian faith?

22 months to go!

Reading today: The Bluest Eye (Toni Morrison: 1970)

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